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Bend Before You Break

Elizabeth Gilbert once shared with a reporter the following:

"There's a story about an Indian guru who came to America. He was talking to this very frazzled mess of a woman -- I say that affectionately having been that person -- and he said to her, 'What do you want for your life?' And she said, 'I want to help others.' He answered her, 'But you haven't even done that for yourself yet -- how can you help anybody?'"

So true, so true.

Last week, I was blessed to have a conversation with a mentor of mine. Much of our discussion is still percolating; however, she said something I believe resonates with many of us, especially women. I speak personally when I say I give, give, give...until the well runs dry...because it usually does...and I don't typically stop in time to replenish, restore, and reflect. In our culture, "busy" is glorified, but what happens when we collapse physically, mentally, emotionally? And WHY is it so easy and even acceptable to overlook ourselves?

When the Universe only sees us giving, it provides us with more opportunity to give. Likewise, when we don't take personal time, we send a strong message that we don't love ourselves enough. This insight, while simple and seemingly obvious, landed on me squarely. "Ohhhh, NOW I get it." Like attracts like, and well, there you go. Perhaps this is why my "To Do" list never get shorter...

Her suggestion and my new ritual: a bath EVERY night. This bath is ideal for lifting spirits, balancing chi, and healing the soul.

2 cups Epsom salt

9 quarter-size pieces of orange peel from 9 oranges (1 piece per orange)

Fill tub halfway. Add orange peels and Epsom salt. Let it steep for 20 minutes before getting in.

Fill the rest of the tub, and soak for 20 minutes.

(You can use the peels 8 more times before discarding them. They lose potency with each bath so if you feel really depleted, you might consider using new oranges more frequently.)

As I soaked in the tub last night, I was listening to Brandi Carlile...and somewhere in the space of those 20-minutes, I heard her sing "Let it bend before it breaks." That moment was synchronicity at its finest. I am resolved to take "me, myself, and I" much more seriously moving forward...and I hope you do, too...for what better time of year than right now?

All You Need is Love

The soul knows love. It is still wrapped in it. The mind and heart may need to rediscover it.

Julie Redstone

I read a quote recently that has stayed with me..."If we fell in love with one of Mozart's works each week, we would have 7 years of joy. How could we ever be bored?"

Wow-za!

Good point. Phenomenal, really.

I am not saying Mozart is for everyone, but the concept certainly is. If we fell in love EVERY DAY with something, imagine the experiences and inspirations we would have. Here is an even more radical approach...how about falling in love 3 times a day? Could you do it?

Kevin Roberts believes there are 6 truths about LOVE:

We all need LOVE. Without it, we die. Solitary people are 3-5 times more likely to die early.

LOVE means more than liking a lot. LOVE is a profound sense of attachment. When we engage in LOVE, different areas of our brain light up. WE LITERALLY LIGHT UP WITH LOVE!

LOVE is always two-way. If not, it cannot live up to the name LOVE. We all have both the capacity and need for LOVE.

LOVE is not isolated to romantic love. It exists within your home, among your friends...in a good book or among the lyrics to a gorgeous song...during a delish meal...while having an engaging conversation..even when anticipating the weekend...whatever turns you on.

LOVE takes time. LOVE has history. It gives us meaning and makes us who we are.

LOVE cannot be commanded or demanded. It can only be given. You get LOVE by giving LOVE.

Go into the holiday season with some gusto! Find 3 things tomorrow (and the next...and the next...) that make you fall in love...because from what I understand...it is really what makes our days worth savoring.

Do you like haiku?

I cannot even begin this post without acknowledging that one of my dearest friends is a haiku-ing mama! She and her sister will get going, and before you know it, everything becomes 17 syllables.

Which is funny...and fun...and incredibly brilliant.

As a writer, penning words to paper (or screen) is one-third of my process. Revision is everything else. And considering the word means to see again, well, that is exactly what I spend most of my time doing. Seeing (and tweaking) what I have said...over and over...until it is...just right...or close enough.

Since my preferred writing style is simple and to-the-point, a haiku (for me) is a refreshing exercise to practice saying what I mean, and nothing more. Try it. 

A haiku is a non-rhymed verse of 5 syllables in line 1, 7 syllables in line 2, and 5 syllables in line 3. 

Georgia Heard said, "The beauty of a haiku is its brevity; it teaches you to use words more clearly and truthfully." Imagine the gems of information we would hear (and understand) if we all haiku-ed a little more...

Less is always more

Too many words just confuse.

Learn to fly with less.

Two of my favorite haiku books are Haiku Mama and Haiku Mind.

Catch a Shooting Star...

Sometime between tonight and tomorrow night (November 17th and 18th), astronomers are predicting a dramatic celestial display of shooting stars. And with the new moon in the sky, you could see up to 45 an hour...

In feng shui, a new moon is revered as having YING energy, which makes this a perfect time to renew chi within yourself and home. A new moon, which produces almost no light, waxes into a full, bright, bold moon. Likewise, during this cycle, each passing day strengthens whatever intentions you begin on the night of a new moon. Here are some feng shui rituals you might want to try. (These "rituals" must be kept in place until the full moon on December 2nd.)

• Add fresh sea salt in your kitchen using a "wealth" bowl. (Consider a dark blue mug placed in a dry area on your kitchen counter.)
• Carry sea salt in a little container or plastic wrapping in your wallet.
• If you have sea salt in the corners of your home, refresh it now and renew your intentions.
• Give your plants -- which signify growing wealth -- a fresh misting of water. Turn them around so their other sides can receive sunlight. Trim and remove any unhealthy leaves that may be on your plants.
• Write (with a red pen) a dollar sign on your right palm - place this on your left palm if you are left-handed. It is said you should do this every morning from the start of a new moon until the full moon. This will help attract money luck and increase wealth opportunities coming your way.
• Do NOT keep your shoes lined up by your front door -- this is said to have your "money and opportunity luck" symbolically walking out the door.
• Light incense or candles, open your windows, turn on the lights, and walk around and bless each of your rooms AND all the occupants of your home/space with health, happiness, and wealth. (You only need to "bless" your home and peeps once.)
• Do a quick de-cluttering of all your table tops, removing the piled junk mail and any garbage from your home.
• Clean out any bad food in your refrigerator -- old and/or stale foods kill chi. Add fresh fruit to your dining room table bowl -- this reflects and attracts an increased bountiful family life.

As you step outside for the show, be clear about your desires, hopes, and dreams...and...wish upon a star...or 2...or all of them you see!

Tips taken from a Leah Quinn article.

Follow the Elephants

Did you ever hear the story about the elephants during the tsunami that swept across the Indian Ocean in 2004? If you recall, the tsunami took over 200,000 lives, inflicted disastrous devastation, and left most of the world baffled. How did we not "see" this coming? A rumor went around afterwards that the elephants instinctively headed toward higher ground shortly before the water struck land. Whether that is true or not, a study recently produced on the aftermath from this natural disaster reported there were NO elephant carcases found.

In Writing Toward Home, Georgia Heard dedicates a chapter to querencia. In English, this translates to a place where one feels safe, a place from which one's strength of character is drawn, a place where one feels at home. I think animals have the market on this skill -- they seem to know when it is time to migrate, hibernate, survive. But do we?

If we listen, our bodies will tell us -- we have querencia, too. There are places, times, situations, clothes, and people that make us feel at ease. But do we ever pay attention? Obey? Give ourselves the space to draw strength, safety, and peace? If you have no idea where your querencia is, ask yourself...Where do I come from? Where do I feel most at home? Where am I happy? relaxed? content? Where do I feel most like myself?

Believe me, your body knows. As does your heart. Find it, give it to yourself, and honor it this season. You never know when it will be your saving grace one day...

Many Happy Returns...

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." ~Anais Nin

I have been keeping a gratitude journal over the last couple weeks, lavishly praising my everyday experiences and the small details surrounding them. At a quick glance yesterday, I noticed a common thread among each entry -- an utter appreciation for my friends. Every. Single. One.

My best-ies. My running partners. My Facebook peeps. My school crew. My neighbors. My fellow mothers. My "Twi-hards." My clients. My health nuts. My readers. My family. New and old, lost and found...I am blessed with an amazing "community" of people who hold me up. Encourage me. Surround me. Believe in me. Look out for me. Enjoy me. Comfort me. Love me.

In Simple Abundance, Breathnach describes friendship this way:

Above all, let your friends know how much you love them. Tell them frequently how much you treasure the gift of their friendship. Sadly, significant others come and go. Children grow up. Parents die. Siblings are separated by distance. But our friends are the continuous threads that hold our lives together.

To all of my friends, and to all of yours, you are the joy that keeps on giving. Because of you, I live the good life. And for that, I thank you.

A few of my favorite things...

"Make sure every day that you care for yourself in at least one way that will give you pleasure and stimulate one of your senses." ~Hester Hill Schnipper

I agree. Follow me for a minute around my day, and I'll show you JUST how simple this is...

SMELL:

I light this Anthropologie candle at the beginning of my day...and the scent seriously keeps me HAPPY all day long! Just a whiff, and I still marvel at how GOOD it smells.

***

TASTE:

 

Thankfully, this is a seasonal treat...otherwise, there would be BIG problems here. Even seeing the carton makes my heart swoon. Buy some. Now. And when I say some, I mean several pints. You are going to want them...trust me! Yum.

***

HEAR:

I have been tapping my toes to this CD for over a week now...and I am still giddy to listen again...and again...and again. Music brings me pure joy!

***

SEE:

There are a few items in my house that I can count on to ALWAYS give off good ju-ju...and this is one. A BIG bowl FULL of crayons. When I look at this, I see Color. Imagination. Fun.

***

FEEL:

 

I am in love with my bed -- it is the epitome of REAL comfort! I have intentionally made it one of the comfiest places on the planet (for me and mine)...because, when you think about it, we spend a considerable amount of time in our beds. The textures, the fluff, the escape -- I always look forward to crawling into mine at the end of a day!

When we take a moment to think about what makes us happy, we usually settle upon the simplest of pleasures. Give passionate attention to these...for they are what create lasting memories. Look around. Discover delightfully pleasant things within your home...that will awaken your senses...and make you happy.

It is in all these little things that I relish at just how gorgeous life is!

Happy Hour

"A HAPPY life is just a string of HAPPY moments. But most people don't allow the HAPPY moments

because

they are so busy trying to get a HAPPY life."

Esther Hicks

Guilty? If so, grab a string of beads: Rosary, Tibetan prayer, Mardi Gras, even your kid's plastic necklace. Sit down, close your eyes, and while holding them in your hands, begin feeling one bead at a time. With each one, think of something you are grateful for, and work your way around the necklace...one grateful thought after another. An amazing thing happens when we shift our attention from scarcity thinking to more abundant, uplifting thoughts...

When we are mindful of the stories we tell ourselves, we become exceptionally capable of changing any limiting circumstance or belief. No matter how much we have or how wonderful we really are, we tend to think "I don't have enough" or "I'm not good enough"...until...we start stringing our thoughts together with the abundance present in our lives today. 

Carry your beads with you, keep them by your bed, wear them...just find time to use them every day. Because if you do, your life "stories" will thrive...and the better they get, the better life gets!

29 Gifts...Interrupted

You may recall, I started the 29 Day Gift Challenge in October. I was fervent in my mission...so much that I bought Cami Walker's book and consumed it cover to cover. As I closed the book, my gift-giving came to a halt. Not because I wasn't seeing results. Nor because I was out of ideas. No. I was actually in a pretty steady groove. But, I had not been doing the process ENTIRELY correct...and so I am starting over...today.

During my first week of giving, I received the following...OUT OF THE BLUE...for free:

a drink at Starbucks

a Nike running shirt

a Trish McEvoy lip liner pencil

2 nail polishes

a Henri Bendel lavender candle

Now, I am in NO way suggesting you approach this challenge JUST TO RECEIVE. However, I promise you will be amazed by what happens when you dedicate yourself to this powerful 29-day process. I am still startled. It was as if each person felt compelled to give me something...graciously. And I was more than happy to receive it...gratefully. When we give, we open up space within ourselves to receive. It is a wonderfully natural reciprocal cycle.

So...why the re-start?

Two reasons.

I overlooked keeping a journal...daily. Since I already journal a couple times each week, I thought I would keep up...no problem. But a few days slipped by me, and to really shift energy, it is best to release what I have done and start over. This is common feng shui advice as well. If you skip a day in a ritual or adjustment, you must start over. When you desire manifesting change, you are dedicated to any process that will bring it to fruition. Without skipping a day.

I also was not beginning my days with a positive affirmation. I am a BIG believer in "What you think about, you bring about" so it makes perfect sense the day should begin with a simple meditation. A few of Cami's suggestions are "Today I give with joy" or "Today I give with abundance."

If you are considering the challenge OR are ready to start giving right now, here are a few more suggestions:

1> Start with gratitude: Write down what you are thankful for...and make a point to share at least one item on your list.

2> Keep it simple: Small gestures make the biggest impact. Smile at a stranger, offer a sincere compliment, or buy someone's coffee or lunch FOR NO REASON.

3> Give up expectations: Let go of judgments about how your gift will be used. Once you've given, your gift will take care of itself.

4> Receive graciously: Giving without receiving will deplete your energy. Remember to be receptive to what others are eager to share.

5> Wing it: Resist the urge to plan all 29 gifts in one sitting. Stay open to the gift-giving opportunities that occur naturally throughout the day.

6> Challenge yourself: What are you most hesitant to give? Ask yourself why...and then give it.

Open yourself to be surprised. By giving, we come from a place of abundance...and that alone is revitalizing. Our gifts, no matter how small, will be multiplied exponentially. And if you find yourself in doubt, remember Reverend Desmond Tutu's saying, "My humanity is inextricably bound up in yours." It all comes full circle...which is certainly grand!

Be Glad. Be Good. Be Brave.

Sarah Ban Breathnach describes November as "no shade, no shine, no butterflies, no bees, no fruits, no flowers, no leaves, no birds" -- what remains is a barren landscape stripped of all pretenses. Behind closed doors, however, are glowing fires. November's beauty MUST radiate from within. So very authentic, wouldn't you agree?

I love this metaphor...as the stores gaudily prepare for the holidays and we embark on gift-giving traditions, this also happens to be the time of year when we are easily distracted from who we REALLY are by real life. We spend our money, our time, and the better part of our senses. Things begin to define us...how much do we have and how big can we give. 

And, then, in the quiet weeks after the festivities end, we take inventory: What do we have? What have we lost? How many goals did we accomplish? What expectations did we not live up to? What situations can we change? Which ones must we accept? The time for authenticity re-emerges...for now the glitterati is gone.

Unless...

...you embark on the season and pay attention. Much of what we will buy, want, or obsess over is fleeting...a flicker of a flame compared to our own internal fires. Enter the season with grace -- your fire is a "light" to pass on...to someone else...who will share it...and so it will ripple. Begin with forgiveness. Fill your heart with gratitude. Strive for simplicity. Create a sense of harmony. Ensure order. Find beauty. Share joy. Make these a necessary part of every day. These qualities keep us attuned to what really matters, especially now. Even though they cannot be wrapped with a red bow, they keep our hearts open, our minds at peace, and our fires blazing brightly. And what is more cozy that that?

"Be glad. Be good. Be brave." ~Eleanor Hodgman Porter